


The Freedom Of Falling (begins and ends with you & I)

by Winterironsoldier



Series: She-Ra Mini Ficlets [5]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Not season 1 ending compliant, Overdose, Sad, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 16:06:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17103737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterironsoldier/pseuds/Winterironsoldier
Summary: By the end of the following week, she caught faint traces of Adora, none that ever stayed stationary but it was strong enough for her to start questioning her sanity. Normal people didn't have these kinds of problems. What was wrong with her?"You're supposed to be dead, but I see you everywhere." She whispered under her breath and it was true.She saw Adora in the remaining captured princesses, saw her stubbornness and morality in their eyes and posturing as they continued to refuse to give up on fighting back. She saw her in the children excited about their first fighting lessons. And she saw her every time she looked in a mirror at herself.





	The Freedom Of Falling (begins and ends with you & I)

 

_All the voices in my head are coming to life_  
_They're getting louder and I'm terrified_  
_How do you run from your own mind?_  
_Is this what I've become?_  
_Take it back what have I done - Antidote, Faith Marie_

 

* * *

 

After She-Ra died, it was like the life had been sucked out of the very ground that they walked on. The people were quiet, the horses distressed, and the cows wouldn't even give milk.

Catra watches the children playing where Brightmoon had once stood and she notices two girls. One had blonde hair tied back and another had brown hair and an animal mutation. They seemed pretty close.

“Almost reminds me of us.”

She turned around quickly. It was just an empty room, one with only a bed and a few weapons lying around it. Adora wasn’t here; Adora was dead.

This is how it started off.

  


By the end of the following week, she caught faint traces of Adora, none that ever stayed stationary but it was strong enough for her to start questioning her sanity. Normal people didn't have these kinds of problems. What was wrong with her?

"You're supposed to be dead, but I see you everywhere." She whispered under her breath and it was true.

She saw Adora in the remaining captured princesses, saw her stubbornness and morality in their eyes and posturing as they continued to refuse to give up on fighting back. She saw her in the children excited about their first fighting lessons. And she saw her every time she looked in a mirror at herself.

The pain in her chest would begin pulsating if she thought too long about Adora and most days she tried to ignore it. Adora was dead but she had also left her behind. Again. Why should she care about her still?

“Catra.”

She turned again. Nothing.

She sighed and buried the heels of her palms in her eyes. This couldn't keep continuing, at this rate she would be found out by Weaver and forced from her commanding position.

  


A month of this and she was worn thin, she couldn't keep doing this. The feeling in her chest was just building and building. If she didn't know better, she would liken it to the feeling of dying.

Shadow Weaver knew by now about it and just as predicted, she was relieved of her position. If she were honest with herself, she was glad to be rid of it. It was too much to handle with Adora gone and haunting her.

“Catra.”

The voice was there again and she closed her eyes. She couldn't keep searching for the ghost image of her friend. It was driving her crazy. Even so, she continued to speak to the empty room.

"You're not coming back, are you?"

Once the words were out, there was no taking them back and a sinking feeling filled her to the brim and the first tears she had ever cried over Adora's death finally fell. Maybe she could begin to heal now.

  


She was moved into a hospital ward four months later. No one could trust her to take care of herself and she was a danger to others. Or so says Shadow Weaver.

"I'm scared of being alone." No answer, but she continued. "They talk about recovery, but I don't understand how I'm supposed to do that when I feel like this."

Her cheek felt overwhelmingly cold for a moment and she took it to mean that Adora had to be listening.

“You know, I was in love with you for the longest time, probably still am. Then you had to go get yourself killed.” She scoffs. “Why wasn’t my love enough for you? Why did you have to leave me?”

No answer yet again. This was the norm though.

  


By her third month in the hospital, Catra had gathered enough pills and she popped each capsule in like they were the bits of candy that she and Adora routinely stole from the kitchens when they could when they were younger. She ended with sixty pills inside of her and she waited.

Nothing was happening for the longest time and then her stomach began to cramp. _It hurt._ She grimaced, grabbing at it and spilling sick next to the bed. She couldn't stop heaving until nothing was left in her stomach. _Goodbye breakfast._

That didn't stop the searing pain, it only made it worse and her head was ringing now, her vision blurring as she slumped against the bed.

“Catra.”

When she opened her eyes for the last time, it was to see Adora's sad frown.

_“Hey, Adora.”_

She passed away twenty minutes later.


End file.
